Trapped Inside Out
by Ashley-the-Weirdo
Summary: After a failed suicide attempt, Logan is sent to Roque's Mental Asylum: Home of the Mentally Insane. His roommate is a bipolar flasher, his neighbor is an emotionless arsonist, and he befriends a severe germ-a-phobic. Things could be worse right? (Eventual slash)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Supsters! New story! I've been formulating this idea for a while now and decided to give it a shot. This story will be dealing with a lot of serious mental disorders that I have researched thoroughly. I wanted the characters to portray them at least moderately accurately so I wouldn't offend anybody. If anybody has any concerns about anything during the course of this story just let me know. I'm going to try to not make this a depressing story, but there will definitely be angsty moments. I know how I want this story to end, so there will be a happy ending. I'm not exactly sure what pairings I'm going to have in this story yet, but this will be a slash story. I've read a few stories on this site that deals with this idea, but none of them have ever been complete. So, why not I give it a try? None of my other stories will be put on the backburner, and I'm 100% dedicated to them. I won't continue this story if nobody likes it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters from Big Time Rush.

**Beta:** Currently looking for one.

**-Line Break-**

**Logan's POV**

_I had convinced myself that nobody would miss me. It's not like I have friends or family to talk to. I'm known as the "Clean freak" around school. The kids tortured me constantly about my OCD. I can't help it. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was about 10 years old. Everything around me just had to be organized a certain way, or I would freak out. If I just ended my life though, I wouldn't have to worry about this stuff anymore. Grandma would probably be glad to have me off her hands anyway. After my parents died in a car crash, my grandmother received full custody of me. I had no other family that I knew of beside her. She had to come out of her retirement and start teaching again just to be able to support us. She insisted it didn't bother her, but I knew I was nothing but a burden. Just a stupid, useless burden. One day, this kid at school told me I'd just be better off dead; I started to take what he said into consideration. I went home and decided that I just needed to end it all. I sat on my bed, took one of my favorite knives from my knife collection, slit both my wrists, and waited for the darkness to take over. I wasn't even scared; I was actually excited for what the afterlife may bring. Right before I slipped out of consciousness due to the blood lost, I heard my grandmother walk in and scream at the sight of her grandson lying in his own pool of blood. That was the last sound I heard before my eyes drifted shut._

I fluttered my eyes open and found myself in a well – lit room. _Am I in Heaven?_ I answered my own question when I looked to my left and saw the heart rate monitor beeping along steadily with the beat of my heart. _Great, I'm in the fucking hospital. _I looked down and finally noticed that there was an IV needle stuck in my left hand and that I was wearing a loose – fitting hospital gown. The atmosphere was like any other hospital; the air was stiff and dreary. The walls were white with pictures drawn by little children that must've been patients here hanging on them. The door was suddenly swung open and in walked a heavyset man with dark brown hair and about 6 chins. I'm being sarcastic of course.

He looked at what I assumed was a chart filled with all my information. He was mumbling to himself and offered a bright smile in my direction.

"Well, you gave us all quite a scare there Mr. Mitchell. You lost quite a bit of blood, but we were able to revive you." _Woo-Fucking-Hoo._

He checked my IV, glanced at my heart monitor, and wrote something down. I chose to remain silent. The faster he said what he needed to say, the sooner I could get out of this hell hole. I've always hated hospitals; more people have died here than at a POW camp.

"I'm Dr. Bitters. I'm known for helping patients with suicide related injuries." Oh God.

"Dr. Bitter's, I'm fine. Really. Can I just go home? Please?" I asked with pleading eyes. I needed to get out of here. He looked down at my chart again and just shook his head.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Logan. Your grandmother has been describing to me your personality and daily routines. She's told me you're irritable at times, anxious about everything, you don't really go out of the house besides school, and now a suicide attempt…Logan, these are all symptoms of depression. That's a serious diagnosis. A person diagnosed with depression can not only be harmful to themselves, but also to other people. Your grandmother has also told me about your slight obsession with sharp objects, such as knives. If your grandmother would've found you in your bedroom later than she had…" His sentence trailed off. I already knew what he was about to say.

"To prevent future suicide attempts, I'm suggesting you go see a psychiatrist."

I raised my eyebrows as I began to comprehend what he was saying.

"You mean go to a crazy person's doctor?" I asked in disbelief. He chuckled softly and shook his head.

"No, a psychiatrist is not a crazy person's doctor. Just because someone has a mental disorder, it doesn't mean they're crazy. I'm suggesting one of the best psychiatrist's in the state. She and her husband have helped successfully treat hundreds of patients in the state with various mental disorders and obsessions such as depression, eating disorders, people with OCD - " I cut him off before he could finish.

"So what, I'm supposed to just talk to this lady like once a week or something and she's supposed to magically make me feel better?" I asked with bitterness laced in my voice.

"Well actually…You would be living in a facility with the psychiatrists, with other patients of course. The time you would be there would depend on how long it takes for your treatment to be successful." I looked at him with confusion written all over my face before it hit me.

"You wanna send me to a mental asylum?"

**-Line Break-**

My grandmother had given me a final kiss goodbye, and she drove off. I was currently standing in front of my new home; Roque's Mental Asylum: Home of the Mentally Insane. Great, I'm insane now. The facility looked more like a mini hospital. The front entrance was suddenly pushed open and out came a nice looking woman that looked to be in her late 20's. She had dark skin and bouncy black hair. She was wearing a nice fitting magenta dress and black heels. She was grinning ear to ear as she walked towards me like she had just won the lottery.

"You must be Logan! We've been expecting your arrival. I'm Kelly and I'm the head psychiatrist here!" She held out her hand I shook it hesitantly. She seemed nice, but I wasn't exactly looking to befriend the person that may consider me mentally insane.

She led me into the facility and there was nothing but a desk to the left and a long hallway that led to a single door. _Oh god, what if this is really a murder house? They kill all their victims behind that door and sell their organs for money. _She must've noticed the worry on my face because she quickly retrieved a key from the desk and walked to the door at the end of the hallway.

"Don't worry; we're not gonna kill ya. This part of the facility is just the check in area. But the other parts…" She unlocked and opened the door. She motioned for me to go in and I dropped my jaw in shock. In front of me was what I assumed to be the living room. There was a huge leather couch with several other chairs surrounding it, and an enormous flat screen TV in the front of them. The floor was covered with soft, shaggy carpet, and the walls were painted light blue.

"Why don't I give you a tour? All the other patients were authorized to stay in their rooms until we got you settled in. This is the living room. The patients can have their free hours in here, but this room is also used for group therapy sometimes." She beckoned for me to follow her as she walked down a hallway to the right and stopped at another huge room.

I assumed it was the cafeteria. There were several tables to the side of the room and a long serving stand that looked like a buffet line. The floor was checkered black and white and the walls were plain white. It smelled of baked chicken and potatoes.

"This is the kitchen. It is mandatory for you to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in here with the other patients. You can eat minor snacks such as chips, cookies, etc. wherever and whenever you want."

She continued down the hallway and stopped at another room.

"This is the recreation room. The living room is mostly for TV and therapy purposes, but this is where you go if you wanna have a little fun. We have gaming devices, arcade games, computers, with monitoring software of course." I rolled my eyes at her last comment. The room had hardwood floors and bright yellow painted walls. It looked like a teenage hangout. She continued to the end of the hall where there was a set of stairs. As we went, she described the other parts of the facility.

"There is a beautiful garden in the back of the facility where we grow flowers, fruits, and vegetables. We also have an amazing library with thousands of books. Lastly, we have an indoor basketball and volleyball court." I nodded my head as she talked and we had finally reached the top of the stairs. It was another long hallway.

"This hallway contains the living quarters. There are five bedrooms with two people living in each of them. Including you, there are a total of ten patients living here. You will be rooming with a boy named James. He's 17 and is a very nice young man."

"What's wrong with him?" I asked immediately with concern. She better not be trying to make me live with some psycho. We walked down the hallway and stopped at a room labeled "James and Logan". Kelly turned towards me and smiled sweetly.

"Well um…James has been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and is known as an um…exhibitionist." Ok, I know what Bipolar disorder is. It's when your moods change from one to another or a period of time. What the hell is an exhibitionist?

"What an exhibitionist?"

"An exhibitionist is a person who likes to display their genitals to strangers. But he's a real sweetheart!" She exclaimed as she turned the knob to the door. I was looking at her like she was crazy. As soon as she opened the door, sure enough there was who I assumed to be James' standing stark naked in the middle of the room. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat when he saw my eyes widen at the sight of him. Kelly didn't even look surprised. She shook her head towards James disappointedly.

"James, I can't believe this; you've been doing so well. What have I told you about this?" She said as she crossed her arms. I had instantly covered my eyes when I saw him. He lowered his head as if he had just got caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

"You said I need to find a better way to express myself other than flashing unsuspecting individuals." He said in a monotone voice. Kelly nodded her head and pointed towards the drawers. James put on some clothes and she nodded her head approvingly.

"This is your new roommate Logan. I gave you guys the same schedule and I expect you to make him feel welcome." I uncovered my eyes and looked at her.

"Schedule? What schedule?"

"Every patient has a daily schedule that tells when their therapy sessions, dining hours, and relaxation times are."

I mouthed an 'Oh' and looked at James. He was still grinning towards me and I smiled back weakly. Suddenly there was a loud clatter in another room.

"DAMMIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?!" I heard a loud voice boom. I heard a slightly higher voice reply.

"YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A LIGHTER! I'M TELLING KELLY!" Kelly's eyes widened and she ran to the other room. James saw the worried look on my face and smirked.

"Welcome to the crazy house."

**Author's Note:** So, whadaya think? Boring? Exciting? Let me know! If I do continue this story, next chapter you'll get to meet the rest of the patients. It's going to get real interesting! I'll only continue if you guys like it though. Let me know what you think! Follow, Favorite, and review! - Ashley


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! New chapter! I still haven't figured out what pairings to have in this story, but I'll figure it out sooner or later. The romance doesn't come until later chapters anyway. You won't get to meet certain patients in this chapter for reasons of my own, but you will by the next chapter. All of the disorders that the characters have in this story are 100% real and if you don't believe me, Google it. You'd be surprised. Hope you guys enjoy! Oh, and huge thanks to all the people that favorited, followed, and reviewed this story last chapter! You guys rock!

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters from Big Time Rush.

**-Line Break-**

**James POV**

Kelly ran out the room, and closed the door behind her. Kendall and Carlos were probably having one of their daily arguments again. The arguments never usually last too long though. They'll probably end up in a therapy session with Kelly again. The poor kid in front of me looked sick to his stomach. He was actually quite…_attractive_. I could tell by that ugly green polo shirt he was wearing that he wasn't my type though. His eyes finally met mine and I smirked.

"Welcome to the crazy house."

His whole face paled a little and he seriously looked scared out of his mind. I am definitely gonna have fun messing with him while he's here. He shook his head and walked towards his side of the room. He put his luggage on the bed and began to unpack. I plopped down onto my bed and watching him intently. Honestly, the kid didn't look like he belonged here. He looks way too reserved and shy to have a mental disorder serious enough to get him sent here. Then again, I don't exactly look like the type of person who likes to flash people. What can I say? It's exhilarating. The look on people's faces when they get an unexpected look at James Jr…

I also don't look like the type of person who's bipolar. Most people think bipolar people just randomly change moods every five minutes. That's really not the case. My moods usually change from one another in day's length. I could be happy as a clam one day, and then sad as a circus clown three days later. It's not really something I can control. It's really not that bad. Unless I get angry…that's when it gets bad.

The only reason I'm even here at this stupid facility is because mom and dad wanted their only child to be "cured" so I can take over the family business when I get older. My parents are Brooke and Michael Diamonds, founders of Diamond Cosmetics. Diamond Cosmetics is a million dollar brand and my parents have become rich off of it. They decided to have a child to pass their riches off to when they're old and gray, and I was born. When they found out about my little flashing problem when I was fifteen, they immediately shipped me off to this place. I've been here for about two years now. My parents rarely ever call or visit nowadays, but it's not like I'm not used to the lack of attention they give me. I'm pretty sure they love their business more than they love their own son, and I've finally come to terms with that. I've accepted it, even though it does hurt sometimes.

To be honest, I don't even wanna take over the family business. I've always dreamt of being a famous actor. I'd be an A – list celebrity, get tons of glory, and get to hang out with super important people. I'd also sign a partnering contract with Hugh Hefner and become co – owner of the Playboy Mansion. That dude is living out every man's fantasy. Although, I'd probably incorporate some male playmates into the mansion as well, considering the fact I'm bi.

Logan had hung all of his clothes in our shared closet, and he was currently putting some of his dozens of books on the shelves. I'll admit that I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but this dude seems like a complete and utter nerd.

"Need some help?" I said as I put on my signature smile that could dazzle anybody. Logan timidly shook his head and continued piling his books neatly onto the shelves. I looked on his side of the closet and noticed that his clothes were sorted by color. I could tell he was organizing his books a certain way too. I was determined to figure out why this guy was here.

"So…what're you in for?" He looked at me with a confused expression on his face and then smiled lightly. His voice was still small.

"When you say it like that, you make it seem like we're in jail or something."

I chuckled softly and got up from my seat on my bed. As he continued organizing his books, I soundlessly made my way over to his side of the room and sat down gently onto his bed next to his luggage. He turned around to grab another book and jumped back into the shelves at the sight of me. He kept glancing back and forth between my previous spot where I was now. I was grinning like a child and waved towards him.

His hand was covering his heart from the scare I had given him and he waved back cautiously. He seemed to have finally regained his breath and he looked at me as if I was a ticking time bomb.

"W-what are y-you d-doing?" Aww…he stutters too? Yup, he's a geek.

"Just trying to get to know my new roommate. So, why'd you get sent here? I'm honestly just curious. I'm sure Kelly already told you about my issues. Unless, you were dumb enough to just let her put you in a room with a person who might be an absolute psycho and didn't ask any questions." He stayed silent for a moment and slowly picked up another book from his bag.

"Nope, I definitely asked about you. I'm shy, but I'm not completely crazy." He said as he put the book up. He sighed and sat down with a safe distance standing between us. He could tell I wasn't gonna let this go anytime soon.

"I, uh…tried to commit suicide, but I failed. The doctor diagnosed me with depression and sent me here." He said with a sad face.

"Why'd ya do it?"

"Well, I was diagnosed with OCD when I was like 10. Things just have to be organized a certain way for me, or I'll go insane. I used to get bullied a lot about it, and the fact that I was a straight A student didn't help either. So, I guess I just got fed up with life and decided I wanted to end it all. I slit my wrists and my grandma found me before I went unconscious. Long story short, I ended up here."

Logan was almost in tears. My heart actually broke a little. I could never relate to him getting bullied considering I basically ruled the school with my dashing good looks and stunning charm before I left. I knew what it felt like to think you had no control over what was happening in your life though. Logan didn't seem like the type of person who could handle any type of torment directed towards him. He just seemed…fragile. At this point, he looked so fucking depressed. I scooted towards him and gave him the one thing he seemed to need the most: A big ol' hug. He looked frightened at first, but eventually gave in, wrapped his arms around me, and let the tears flow. I soothingly rubbed his back for a good ten minutes before his sobbing finally turned into quiet sniffles. He slowly pulled back from the hug and patted his eyes dry with a tissue he retrieved from his bag. He smiled gently towards me.

"Thank you. I've actually been holding that in ever since I got here."

"No problem. Listen, you seem like you've never really had a close friend. Considering we're gonna be roommates for a while, maybe I could fill that position." He smiled wide as he nodded his head. His eyes seemed to light up at the mention of having a friend. The kid seemed like he could use one. I hopped up off his bed and walked towards the door.

"Well, _friend, _would you like to join me for dinner?" I asked as I opened up the door. He giggled softly and stood up to join me.

"I would like that."

**-Line Break-**

**Logan's POV**

James and I were some of the last few patients to enter the kitchen. The specialty today was baked chicken and potatoes. Everybody was staring at me as if I was truck that had crashed through a wall. I wasn't used to this type of attention. James and I made our dinner plates and he led me towards an empty table in a corner. James didn't seem to notice the stares and started eating.

"Why is everybody staring at me?" I was beginning to feel slightly self-conscious.

"You're new here. Everybody's just curious about how you ended up here. Until they know, they'll probably try to analyze everything about you to see if they can figure it out."

"That doesn't sound crazy to you?"

"We are in a crazy house…I guess now would be a good time to tell you about some of the people here. You see that girl in the blue shirt over there?" He said as he motioned towards the table to the left of us. I glanced over there and saw a girl with bouncy brown hair and a mole right above her top lip. She saw me looking at her and winked flirtatiously. I quickly looked back down at my food.

"That's Camille Roberts. She's been diagnosed with factitious disorder. It's when you purposely harm yourself in order to get attention. Her foster family sent her here after she started cutting herself. She's sixteen and has been here for about a year. She's also a total drama queen, and happens to be my ex." My eyes widened at his last statement.

"Ex? As in ex - girlfriend?"

"Don't look so surprised! She's hot, but like I said, she'll do anything to get attention. It gets annoying after a while." He shrugged as he took another bite of his chicken. I glanced towards the girl sitting beside Camille. She had curly blonde hair and really thick eyebrows. She was picking at her food with a disgusted look on her. The food actually doesn't taste bad at all, so I don't know why she's looking at it like that.

"What about her?"

"The girl sitting beside her? That's Jo Taylor. She's 17 and is Camille's roommate/bestie. She's bulimic."

"No offense to her, but she's skinny as a twig…"

"She didn't always used to look like that. When she was younger, she looked like an inflated balloon. Her dad used to verbally abuse her and call her names and stuff. He started to hit her when she was 14, someone found out and she was sent to foster care. Her dad was sent to prison. She lost the weight, but was sent here when someone caught her purposely throwing up into the toilet. She's been here for about three years." I had pretty much forgotten about my food and wanted to learn more about the people I was gonna be living with for a while. I looked towards the table behind us and saw two boys chatting away.

One was masculine looking with dark brown hair covered by a beanie and stunning green eyes. The other one had light brown hair and green eyes. He had plastic gloves on his hands.

"Who are they?"

"The one with the hat is Jett Stetson. He has something called Trichotillomania disorder. Whenever he gets anxious or nervous about something, he starts pulling his hair out. Underneath that hat is a whole bunch of bald spots. He's 17 and he's been here for like 6 months. Nobody really knows anything about his family. The other one is Dak Zevon. He's 15 years old. He is the youngest patient here and is like a SEVERE germ-a-phobic. He won't touch anything without using his gloves. He thinks anything and everybody has germs, except Jett. The two of them have been dating for about three months. Don't ask me how it happened, but it did."

Two other girls walked into the cafeteria as I continued examining the couple. One of them was a beach blonde with blue eyes. She had a curvaceous figure and look liked she had just stepped out of a magazine. She was wearing a light blue dress and white sandals. The other girl had jet black hair with red streaks. She had a rounded face and looked to be from some sort of Chinese descent. She had more of a punkish style and was wearing all black. I looked over at James and saw that he was basically drooling into his food as he stared at the two females. I snapped my fingers in front of his face and finally broke him out of his daze.

"Aw, looks like somebody has a crush on girls' way out of his league." I teased. James just rolled his eyes and wiped away the drool from his mouth with a napkin.

"As if. No doubt they're both hot, but they also have some of the more…insane problems in this place. The blonde one, Jennifer Malcolm, is a sadist. She loves humiliating people for her own sick, twisted satisfaction. She'd never do anything to physically hurt anybody in risk of one of her nails getting broken. Verbally…she could have you crying within seconds. She was sent here after she basically broke up her dad and stepmom's marriage when she was 14. She would say the cruelest things to her stepmom just because she didn't like her. Her stepmom got fed up one day and divorced her dad because of Jennifer, but not before saying his daughter had serious mental issues. His dad was so pissed that he sent her here to figure out why she had to be such a bitch all the time. Sure enough, she was diagnosed with sadism disorder."

I had pushed my food to the side and since James had finished his, he started eating mine.

"The other chick is Lucy Stone. She's a schizophrenic. She got shipped here when she attacked one of her relatives. She claims that the man inside her head had told her that if she didn't do it, he'd kill her. Her parents are absolutely terrified of her and don't want anything to do with her anymore. After they sent her here they just started pretending that she didn't even exist. Lucy and Jennifer are roommates and hang out like all the time. I would suggest you stay as far away from the duo as possible."

James had finished my meal as well as his and let out a loud belch. He said a half - hearted excuse me, and began to put all the trash back onto the trays. I looked around the whole cafeteria. To an outsider, we were just a group of teenagers eating dinner. To me, we were a bunch of fucked up kids who have had worse luck than others. Including me, I counted eight patients in the room. I thought Kelly said there were ten...

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Aren't two patients missing?"

"Yup. That little argument you heard earlier today was from Kendall and Carlos. They argue like every day about the weirdest shit and are probably in a therapy session with Kelly discussing what happened…again. They're another duo that you should probably steer away from. I'll tell you what's wrong with them later. I'm too full to even think straight right about now." James said as he patted his stomach.

Alright, so let's break this down. I'm living with an attention seeking drama queen, an abused bulimic, a dude who gets so anxious that he literally starts pulling his hair out, a young germ-a-phobic, a sadistic beauty queen, a schizophrenic rocker chick, and a bipolar flasher. Not to mention there are two other people I haven't even seen yet who also have mental problems. Oh boy. If I though high school was torture than this might as well be hell on Earth. James finally got up and threw away our trays. I was gonna be hungry as a hostage later, but I'm not worried about that right now.

"Wanna come with me to the rec room? You'll probably get to officially meet some of the others." He saw the worried look on my face and rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a scaredy cat Loges. Sure, most of the people here are hella fucked up, but not all of them are bad. Camille can be annoying, but she's hilarious. Plus, Jo is a total sweetheart. Jett is pretty laid back, but Dak might not talk to you unless you let him spray you down with disinfectant spray first. Kinda weird, but he's nice."

I was reluctant, but I finally agreed. It's now or never I guess.

**Author's Note:** Long ass chapter! Hope I didn't bore you guys with it! I realize that some of these might not be serious enough to get people sent to an insane asylum, but just role with it. Let me know what pairings you think I should have in this story. I don't really want it to be a Jagan story, so it'll probably be either a Kogan or Cargan. You guys will get to meet Kendall and Carlos next chapter. Don't forget to favorite, follow, and review! They make me very happy! - Ashley


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Heyo! Sorry for the wait my lovelies! It's been a super hectic week with relatives visiting and stuff. I'm having a bit of writers block on Love at First Bite…but any who! Shout out to all the love on the last chapter. Also, I want this story to revolve around Logan, but I don't want all of it to be written in his POV. What fun is that? Last but definitely not least, special shout out to _ImmaHotdog _for giving me the idea to just play around with all the pairings with Logan and see which one I like best. Thanks for that because I was really driving myself insane with that issue! Hope you guys enjoy!

**Warning:** Minor rape scene in the flashback. Nothing too graphic though. Skip the first part of the flashback if you don't wanna read it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Big Time Rush. Phooey.

**-Line Break-**

**Kendall's POV**

"You do realize that this is your fault we're in trouble right?"

I looked at my best friend of three years in astonishment when he said that. He can't seriously be blaming me for this! We were currently waiting in Kelly's office for her to return so we could receive our punishments. Carlos was sitting slumped down in one of Kelly's cushioned chairs, while I was sitting criss – crossed on the floor. Carlos is the whole reason we're in this mess.

"How is this MY fault? You're the one who somehow snuck a lighter into our room! Do you realize how badly that could've ended if Kelly hadn't shown up? You're not the most mentally stable person Carlos! You could've burned the whole place down!"

"We wouldn't even be here right now if Kevin would've just kept his big mouth shut!"

"Kevin was doing his job! He was trying to protect me!"

Seriously, Carlos is not stable! His mind is about as stable as a 500 pound woman wearing 6 – inch heels! Trust me; I'm not judging him though. I have absolutely NO right to judge. My mind is just as fucked up, but in a completely different way. By now, you guys are probably wondering who the hell Kevin is.

Before my mom sent me here, I was living with her and my younger sister, Katie. My dad left when I was about eight. That was the same year that Katie was born. I couldn't have been happier when he left. He was nothing but a sadistic alcoholic. He always used to beat my mom, and he used to do really bad things to me. He's the reason why I'm even in this place. He's the monster the fucked up my whole life. I didn't know what he was doing at the time though. I was only six when he started doing it…

_**Flashback**_

_It was the night before my seventh birthday. I was so excited that I could barely even sleep. My mom had planned out a birthday party and all my friends from the little league hockey team were going to be there. It was going to be Spiderman themed and my mom had even ordered a huge chocolate cake from the bakery. I was tossing and turning in my bed from sheer excitement. My father must've finished his daily beating of mom early and decided to check on me. He opened my bedroom door slightly and had a beer in hand. He saw my eyes open, wide and innocent, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion._

"_What are you still doing up?" His voice was raspy and husky. He was the older version of me; He had bottle green eyes, disheveled blonde hair, and naturally thick eyebrows. He was also tall and lanky. I turned to my side and frowned guiltily._

"_I'm sorry daddy…I couldn't sleep. I'm just so super-duper excited for tomorrow!" I said with a grin. Two of my front teeth were missing. He nodded his head in recognition and cracked the door more open. _

"_Well, since you're awake…" He slid through the crack of the door into my room and closed it behind him._

"_Why don't we play a game?" He crept towards me and set the beer onto my red nightstand. I nodded my head eagerly and he chuckled darkly._

"_What kinda game are we gonna play daddy?" I crawled out from under the covers and slid closer towards him. He had a look in his eye that I had never seen before._

"_First, you gotta promise me something. No matter what we do in here, you can't tell mommy, understood? It'll be our little secret." I shook my head feverishly, the toothless grin never leaving my face._

_He removed me off of his lap and set me down beside him. He unbuckled his khaki pants and slid them down along with his boxers. A weird hot dog looking thingy sprang out. I looked at my dad in confusion as he gently took my hand and placed it on top of the thing. My father's eyes were now a dark forest green and they possessed nothing but evil in them. I gave it a squeeze and immediately retraced my hand. _

"_Why is it all squishy? It feels yucky…" My father retrieved my hand again, but this time with more force. He placed my hand back on top of it and held it there. _

"_Ken, it's part of the game. Just…move your hand up and down."_

_I obeyed and started moving my hand. My dad had his head tipped back, his eyes were closed, and was letting out small moans. He seemed to be happy with what I was doing, so I figured I was pretty good at this game. After a while, he abruptly removed my hand and hopped on top of me. He quickly stripped me of my footie pajamas and threw them across the room._

"_Daddy, what're you-"_

"_It's all a part of the game son. Now, this might hurt a bit…"_

_In that moment, my innocence was taken from me. The pain was agonizing and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. He kept whispering in my ear about how tight I was, and I was scared out of my mind. I wanted to scream out, but his hand was covering my mouth. When he finally finished, I was in tears. My bottom was in severe pain and there was blood on my sheets. He grabbed his beer from the nightstand and left without another word. I was frozen from fear and exhaustion. After that, my dad kept forcing me to play that game with him every night for the next three years until he left._

_During those three years, after a particular night with my father, I started to hear a voice inside my head. He introduced himself as Kevin. He said he was there to help me. I suddenly blacked out and then we met. Well, we met inside my head. He looked exactly liked me, but his personality was the polar opposite of mine. While I was shyer, quiet, and more reserved, Kevin was loud, flamboyant, and outgoing. I knew he wasn't real and was just a figment of my messed up imagination, but he became like my best friend. He was the only person I could talk to about what my father was doing to me. In my head, Kevin lived in a huge mansion by himself and was always there when I needed somebody to talk to. A few weeks after my eighth birthday, Kevin got fed up with what my dad was doing to me. Technically, he was OUR dad, but whatever._

"_Kenny, ready to play our game?" I heard my sadistic father call from outside my door. I was in the middle of a conversation with Kevin is his mansion and I whimpered out in fear. I knew that I was going to have to go back into the real world and leave Kevin behind, but Kevin had other plans._

"_Kendall, what if you stay here and I play the game with your dad? He won't be able to tell the difference." I looked at him like he was nuts. _

"_Is that possible?"_

"_Yup. Ken, you created me for a reason. You created me out of fear of your dad. My purpose is to take control of your body when I think it's necessary and help you whenever you're scared. Like now." _

_From that point on, Kevin never let me play that game with my dad ever again. Whenever my father was anywhere near me, I would suddenly end up on the couch in Kevin's imaginary mansion, and Kevin would have control of my body. After my dad left my mom, Kevin still took control whenever I was scared, which happened a lot. When I was twelve, I finally realized that what my dad had been doing to me wasn't a game. He was raping me for his own twisted pleasure. I still didn't tell my mom though. She was working two jobs to support Katie and me, so I figured I didn't need to add any more stress into her life. _

_The reason I ended up in this place is because my mom put me in here when I was thirteen. She was passing by my room in the house and saw me having a full conversation…with myself. I was talking to Kevin in my head of course, and I tried to explain that to her. She panicked because she thought I might have lost my mind, and she took me to a doctor. I told the doctor about Kevin, and he referred me to Roque's Mental Asylum. Kevin had control of my body the whole first day I was here because I was scared out of my mind. When I started having therapy sessions with Kelly, sometimes I would be in control, and sometimes Kevin would be in control. Kelly is a really easy person to talk to, and I eventually broke down and told her about my father. Kelly would notice the sudden personality changes I would have and diagnosed me with dissociative identity disorder. She explained to me that when young children go through traumatic experiences, such as rape, their mind creates different versions of themselves to handle those experiences. Basically, I created Kevin so that he could take the abuse from my dad, and I wouldn't have to go through it. Kevin "comes out" whenever I feel threatened or scared. He handles those situations so I don't have to. He's like my protector. _

_**-End Flashback-**_

Now, I'm sixteen and have been here for three years. Carlos was sent here a year after I came, and he became my roommate. We hit it off pretty quickly, and for once in my stay at RMA, I had finally felt as if I had made a friend here. Carlos is pretty cool, as long as you don't piss him off. He's met Kevin a couple of times, and I'm pretty sure they don't really like each other. Carlos thinks Kevin is a big – mouthed asshole, while Kevin thinks Carlos is an over protective control freak. Carlos is kind of…protective of me, but only because he understands how much I've been hurt by people I trust. Carlos pretty much runs this facility. All of the other patients hear absolutely fear him because they know what he's done and capable of. Carlos has a dark past, but I'm not gonna get into that.

Kelly had finally walked into the room and was carrying two huge, vanilla folders. I was trying to keep my nerves down so Kevin wouldn't "come out". The last thing we needed was for him to get into a verbal confrontation with Carlos.

Kelly sat behind her desk and clasped her hands together on top of it. She looked like a judge who was about to announce the verdict.

"You guys do realize how serious this is right? Sneaking a lighter into this place is strictly against the rules. We all know how badly this could've ended if I hadn't shown up. Both of you refuse to tell me who was responsible, so I have to blame you both. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put you both into solitary confinement for the rest of the week. You both are to not leave your room except for meals and therapy sessions. Understood?"

Carlos and I nodded our heads and exited her office. Carlos didn't really seem fazed, but I was livid. Now that we were under solitary confinement, I wouldn't be able to meet the new kid yet. Every time we get someone new here I always hope that they are just as fucked up as I am. It oddly makes me feel better about myself.

Carlos knew that this was his fault, but he didn't apologize. We both knew he wouldn't mean it.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me this week buddy." Carlos said as he lay back onto his bed.

"I wonder whose fault that is." I said sarcastically as I sat on the bean bag.

"Look, it's too late to play the blame game, so we both might as well get over it. Although, it's too bad we don't get to meet the new kid until next week. From what I've heard, he's pretty easy on the eyes."

"Los, you are the last person who should get into any type of relationship. Especially after your little fling with Jo."

"It's not my fault she can't take a joke."

"You called a person who's bulimic a fat-ass. It set her progress back tremendously."

"Kendall, you know me. What comes up, comes out. She was pissing me off, so I pissed her off. It was only fair."

"I worry about your sanity."

"Hey, I'm not the one with a split personality. You know what? I'm done with this conversation." Carlos stuck his headphones into his ears and blasted it at full volume.

I love Carlos, but he has some serious anger issues.

**Author's Note:** Suckish ending, and you guys still haven't fully met Carlos yet. Since Kendall's story needed a lot of explaining, I decided to just dedicate this chapter to him. I really hope his diagnosis didn't confuse you guys. If it did, just let me know and I'll see if I can explain a bit better. Kendall's disorder may not be portrayed completely accurate, but it'll do. Next chapter will be dedicated to Carlos. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. They make me very happy! – Ashley


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Chapter 4 has arrived! This story is getting a pretty good amount of attention and I'm definitely feeling the pressure! Just so you guys know, Chapters 1 – 4 all take place on the first day of Logan's arrival. Thanks for all the love on the last chapter, and without further ado, here's chapter 4 of Trapped Inside Out! Hope you guys like it!

**Disclaimer:** I don't Big Time Rush.

_**-Line Break-**_

**Logan's POV**

James had taken me to the recreation room to get acquainted with some of the other patients here. To say I was nervous would be an understatement, but it was now or never. As soon as James and I stepped through the door, Camille suddenly appeared in front of me. She had her hand extended towards me and was grinning ear to ear.

"Hi, I'm Camille! Aspiring actress, future billionaire, currently single…" She ended with a wink and I scratched the back of my neck nervously. I've never been good when it comes to talking to girls.

I quickly shook her hand and retracted it back at once. I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up her hand to stop me before I could even get a word out.

"I know who you are. Logan Mitchell, sixteen years old, originally born in Texas, five foot 9, sent here because of depression and a failed suicide attempt, correct?"

I stared at her in confusion and shock as she recited facts about me as if she's known me her entire life.

"How do you know that stuff?"

"I read your file, duh! Kelly has seriously gotta start remembering to lock her office door."

"Alright, so you've met crazy Camille!" James came up behind me and patted my back. Camille rolled her eyes and glared at him.

"James, go away. Logan and I were in the middle of a conversation." She sent a flirtatious glance my way and I took a sudden interest in my shoes.

"He looks more frightened than anything Camille. Come on Logan, let's talk to Jo. She's a bit saner than the rest of us."

Jo was a total sweetheart, and made me feel more welcome here than I have all day. Jett was pretty cool, but you could tell he was a bit protective of Dak. Jett never left Dak's side the entire time I was talking to him. Dak seemed to be a bit shy like me, so I made sure that I stayed as polite as possible. James knew Camille made me a bit uncomfortable, so he kept her distracted for a while so I could mingle without her staring at me like she wanted to eat me.

After meeting some of the patients, I quickly realized that they may not be as crazy as their medical conditions suggest. With the exception of Camille, they seemed pretty…normal. Of course, I haven't seen their craziness in action, so I guess I can't come to that conclusion just yet.

_**-Line Break-**_

**Carlos' POV**

"Where are you going? Kelly gave us strict orders to stay in our room. Are you trying to get yourself into more trouble?"

I had figured that since Kendall was so zoned out into a conversation with Kevin that he wouldn't notice that I was leaving. Guess I was wrong.

"I'm just going for a walk, no big deal. Don't get your SpongeBob boxers in a wad."

Kendall blushed at the fact that I even knew he owned SpongeBob boxers, but shook it off quickly.

"Carlos, for once in your life, can't you just follow the rules?"

"What's the fun in that? Don't worry; I'll be back before you know it Kendork." With that, I walked out of our room and silently walked down the hall. I knew Kelly's office was at the bottom of the stairs, so I was gonna have to be cautious. I heard a pair of feet walk behind me and I already knew it was Kendall. No matter how much he didn't want to, he just couldn't help going along with my misguided plans.

"Where are we even going?" Kendall whispered harshly with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"The rec room. Gotta make sure the newbie knows the rules of this place."

Kendall just nodded his head because he already knew what I was talking about. When I was "sentenced" to this place a few years ago, everybody already knew not to mess with me. Poor Kendall almost had a heart attack when he realized I was gonna be sharing a room with him after finding out how much of a psycho I was. We bonded for some odd reason though, but that's a whole different story. I was only 14 at the time, but I pretty much ran this place. Well, I still do actually. I know it's because everyone knows what I'm capable of, and they fear of what might happen if I get upset.

Let's start from the beginning, shall we? I was the fourth born child of six kids by Gloria and George Garcia. My mom was a house wife, and my dad was a police officer. Being the middle child, I rarely ever got the attention of either of my parents, but I never was mad about that. My mom was busy 24/7 with cooking, cleaning, and trying to keep six kids from tearing the whole house apart. My dad was a police officer who worked long shifts just to make sure we had food on the table, so I rarely ever saw him.

I guess you could say I was quite the rascal growing up. When I wanted something, I was gonna get it one way or another, whether it be by throwing a fit, or by manipulating someone to get it. I've never cared about anyone else's feelings besides mine, and I've always hated following rules. In middle school, teachers would notice the harsh words I would use against other kids, and I usually got suspended for a week or two once a month for it. Eventually I got expelled for being a "hostile, aggressive child with a bad attitude". The town we lived in was small and only had one middle school, so my family and I had to move. We moved from sunny California, to dreary Minnesota because I got kicked out of middle school. My siblings were pissed at me, but I really didn't care.

At my new middle school, my behavioral problems got even worse. I started skipping class, cursing out teachers, starting food fights…I was your average badass. I wasn't alone though. I had two close friends, Ronny and Jason. They were more like groupies instead of friends because they were only hanging out with me because they thought I was cool, but we had fun together nonetheless. One day, the three of us decided to ditch school and hang out around the abandoned parking lot of an old mall. That day pretty much changed my life forever…

_**-Flashback-**_

"_Do you think Ms. Applebee is gonna be mad we ditched class?" Ronny asked. Jason and I just looked at him like he was a dumbass._

"_Are you kidding me? She's probably happy we're gone. Especially after that little comment Carlos made yesterday…" Jason stated while looking towards me. I shrugged my shoulders._

"_I was just being honest. Her pyramid nipples were poking through her shirt and it was grossing me out." Jason chuckled and shook his head._

_Ronny was way taller than Jason and I, but he was skinnier than the both of us. He reminded me of a twig. He had curly black hair and huge brown eyes. He loved danger, but somehow always thought about the consequences of his actions. _

_Jason was short and chubby. He was slightly taller than me; you could tell he knew how to eat, though. He had short blonde hair, and bottle green eyes. He was the funny man of us three. He cracked jokes every chance he could, whether they were corny or not. He loved taking risks, and rarely ever cared what people thought about him._

_The three of us were just sitting against the side of the abandoned building having a casual conversation about random stuff. Jason suddenly hopped up and had a mischievous look on his face. He pulled a small, rectangular object out of his pocket. _

"_What the hell is that?" I asked._

"_A lighter. I stole it from my dad. He has like ten of them, so I doubt he'll even notice it's gone." He threw the lighter towards me and I easily caught it. I hit the button, and out came a flicker of fire. I was amused by the little flame and its color. I took an innocent curiosity of fire in that exact moment. I looked to my left and saw an overflowing trashcan. I stood up, walked over to it, flicked the lighter on again, and threw it in. The trash inside immediately caught on fire and I smiled victoriously. Jason and Ronny were by my side and were in hysterics._

"_Have you lost your mind?! How are we gonna put this fire out?" Ronny asked._

"_Ron, relax. The fire is contained in the trashcan. It'll die out over time by itself naturally." It made sense to me, and apparently it did to them too. I didn't realize how wrong I was until the ENTIRE trashcan was engulfed in flames. The fire was starting to grow tremendously and we took off. I looked back one last time and saw that the flames had gotten so big that they were starting to engulf the entire abandoned building. I wanted to go back just so I could watch in fascination, but I kept running. _

_Fortunately, we didn't get caught, but Ronny and Jason were pissed. They deemed me as psychotic and stopped hanging out with me. I figured they would just try to stop my sudden interest anyway, so I didn't care. I started educating myself on fire. I learned how it was created, how it moved, how destructive it was…It became my world. By age fourteen, I started setting random things on fire. I started with a small tree in the park. No one got hurt. Then, I advanced onto random people's bikes when they weren't looking. The look on their faces when they turned around and saw their bikes on fire would be hilarious. Then, I set a building on fire. Ten people were injured, but nobody died. I thought it was quite strange how I didn't even feel any remorse or regret for what I did. I just felt…numb, as if those people didn't even matter. After setting the building on fire, I somehow got caught. I got arrested and was sent to juvenile until I could get sentenced. If somebody would've died in that fire, I could've been tried as an adult for murder. _

_The judge realized quickly that I had a major problem with rules and authority, so instead of jail time, he decided to see if there was something wrong with me. He ordered me to see a psychiatrist. _

_Her name was Ms. Coyne. She had long silky black hair, creamy white skin, and a HUGE behind. She reminded me of Kim Kardashian. After about three sessions, she was quite aware of my obsession with fire. That's all I would ever talk about with her. I would sometimes tell her about my lack of emotions, and about my abruptly ended relationship with Ronny and Jason. I explained to her that I felt that it is Jason's fault I'm even in this mess. If he hadn't brought that lighter that day, all this would've never happened._

_She diagnosed me as a pyromaniac with antisocial personality disorder. She said I fit the symptoms of ASPD perfectly. I had blatant disregard for rules; difficulty maintaining relationships with people, although I have no problem establishing them; I show no signs of being able to express feelings of guilt or empathy for others; I have no problem with blaming other people for my own actions; and lastly, I have absolutely no regards for other people's feelings. She recommended me to Roque's Mental Asylum: Home of the Mentally Insane and here we are three years later. _

My obsession with fire hasn't ceased at all in those three years, but Kelly swears on her life that she has "seen improvements" from me. I think that bitch is just as crazy as her patients.

Kendall and I crept swiftly down the stairs and past her office. Her door was closed, so hopefully she didn't see us. We walked into to the rec room and I was greeted by the sight of Camille and James, who were obviously flirting in the corner. Dak, Jett and Jo were playing a board game, and then I saw a black haired boy sitting on the brightly colored couch reading a book. I casually walked over to him and sat down. I noticed that he tensed up slightly at my presence. I put on a bright smile as he glanced my way. He smiled back cautiously and slowly set the book down by his side.

"Hi."

"H-hello…"

_Oh look, he stutters. This'll be easy._

"I'm Carlos." I held out my hand towards him and he looked at it with wide eyes. I wasn't surprised that he had already heard about my reputation around here. He gently shook my hand. By now, everyone in the room was watching our exchange.

"I'm L-Logan…I-" I cut him off.

"I know who you are. Camille told me all about ya. Now, how about I tell ya about myself. I have a pretty bad reputation around here, and I have it for a reason. I'm a short guy with a short temper and I don't like being fucked with OK? Don't bother me nor Kendall, and we won't have any problems, got it?"

He nodded his head quickly and I smiled sweetly.

"Welcome to our humble abode. May all your nightmares come true."

I stood up and walked out the room, dragging Kendall along with me.

"That was kinda harsh don't you think?" Kendall asked once we safely retreated back into our room.

"Eh, he'll be alright."

"LIGHT'S OUT IN A HOUR!" We heard Kelly shout from downstairs. Kendall and I got dressed for bed, and were in bed. From that short exchange, Logan seemed like he would be a fun person to mess with. I drifted off to sleep with a plan already formulating in my mind.

**Author's Note:** Hope you guys liked it! Sorry for the wait, but I hope I didn't disappoint! Let me know what you guys think of Carlos. Next chapter will be up soon, and don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! They make me happy! - Ashley


	5. Chapter 5

**Logan's POV**

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

God, I get it. SHUT UP!

I groaned as I rolled over onto my side in my bed and shut off that damn alarm clock. I covered my head with my pillow as I heard James shuffling around on the other side of the room. Needless to say, I am NOT a morning person. I quickly glanced at the clock.

_9:01._

What goblin gets up this early?

The pillow was snatched out of my hand and thrown at my head.

"Wake up roomie! It's time for your breakfast! It's toaster strudel Tuesday! We gotta be ready in about a half hour."

"Why does breakfast have to be so damn early? I'd rather starve then get up right now."

I groggily opened my eyes as I sat up. I was greeted with the sight of James bent over in front of the dresser buck fucking naked. I let out a scream before covering my eyes.

"James, this is ridiculous. Do you EVER wear clothes? It's not fair that every time I look at you, I get a good look of your fucking ball sack."

"Of course I wear clothes! Sometimes. Not when I go to sleep, though. Being naked is like second nature to me. It's so natural."

By then, he had at least put on some boxers, and I uncovered my eyes.

"It's more disturbing than natural."

"You'll get used to it. And don't act like you're not enjoying the view." He finished with a wink and sauntered off to the bathroom.

I've only been rooming with James for a couple days, and I'm already about to lose my mind. It's not that he's unattractive or anything, but…Wait, what? Did I just think that? Please tell me I didn't just think that. I like girls and ONLY girls…right? It's not like I've ever dated anyone before, girls nor guys. Hell, I haven't even had my first kiss yet. God, am I having a sexual identity crisis?

I shook my head of those thoughts and hopped out of bed. James seemed like a bit of a pretty boy, so I knew I wouldn't be getting into the bathroom anytime soon. I looked over at my bedside drawer and noticed a green piece of paper with text on it. I raised an eyebrow and picked it up.

_Logan Mitchell: Daily Schedule_

_9:00 AM: Wake up time._

_9:30 AM: Breakfast (Toaster Strudel Tuesday!)_

_10:00 AM: Group therapy w/ James D., Josephine T., Carlos G., and Lucy S. (Living room)_

_11:00 AM: Free time_

_12:00 PM: Lunch (Taco Tuesday!)_

_12:30 PM: Mandatory activity session_

_2:30 PM: Free time_

_5:00 PM: Dinner (Turkey Tuesday!)_

_5:30 PM: Chores_

_6:00 PM: Down time/Rest & Relaxation_

_10:00 PM: Lights out_

_Have a totally tubular day! __ - Kelly_

I guess the schedule isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm mostly worried about the therapy session. One, I don't wanna be in a room with a bunch of crazies, even though I'm also considered a crazy, but that's beside the point. Two, I don't wanna be anywhere near Carlos. Truth be told, he scares me.

James walked out the bathroom with his hair perfectly in place, and with a fresh shirt on. He still didn't have on pants, though.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"What's an activity session? This is a mental asylum, not summer camp."

James rolled his eyes, chuckling, and snatched the paper out my hand.

"Oh, you got your schedule. We get a new one every day, but it rarely ever changes except on special occasion, like holidays. Activity sessions are when you do an activity with other patients. You can choose any activity you want from gardening, cooking, even sports, like basketball. That's the activity I'm in. Be warned, though. Carlos is in basketball too, and he's _good. _He may be short, but he can shoot a basket with ease. Plus, he's super competitive."

"I'm not really a sports guy…who's in gardening?"

"I think just Kendall. He loves flowers and crap. Even though he's all buddy – buddy with Carlos, he's pretty harmless. Try not to make him nervous, though."

"Why?"

"Well, he...Actually, I'll let you see for yourself."

James patted me on the back, handed me my schedule, and walked out the room.

"James, please put on some pants." I heard Kelly say in the hallway with exasperation in her voice.

James stomped back into the room, entered the bathroom, and slammed it closed. I shook my head with a faint smile forming on my lips.

Boy, oh boy. He's crazier and crazier.

_**-Line Break-**_

I was still sleepy as hell, but I somehow managed to make it through breakfast without falling asleep on top of my strudel. It was group therapy time, and quite frankly, I was pretty nervous. I just didn't know what to expect.

I walked to the living room and looked around. Carlos was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, and a scowl on his face. He was exuding bad boy vibes. Jo was sitting quietly in a chair farthest from Carlos, with her hands in her lap. She kept glancing up at Carlos with a sad expression on her face. Lucy was sitting criss – crossed on the floor with her eyes closed, and she was perfectly still. She looked like her spirit was being extracted from her body or something. It looked creepy. James was leaning on one of the walls with a completely different demeanor than this morning. He gave me an angry glare before turning to face the wall. That must be the whole bipolar thing. In the center of us all was a heavy - set man sitting on a chair. He had on geeky looking glasses and a white doctor's coat. He oddly reminded me of Santa Clause.

James eventually sat down on the last single chair near Jo, so I was forced to sit on the couch by Carlos. He was suddenly smirking when I sat down and I had no clue why.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Gustavo said in a booming voice. His voice was very loud for some reason.

"We have a new patient joining us today, so would you please stand up, state your name, age, and the reason why you're here?"

I nodded my head slowly, standing up, and swallowing the lump in my throat. I was never good with speaking in front of audiences. I always start stuttering really bad.

"Uh, m-my name is L-Logan. I-I'm sixteen y-years old, and I um…attempted s-suicide." Gustavo nodded his head and I took that as a sign to sit down.

"W-well t-took y-you l-long e-enough." Carlos said loudly, mocking my voice. I frowned and kept my head down for the rest of the session. Since it was my first session, Gustavo didn't make me talk much. Jo talked about how she's been keeping her food down without throwing it up, and Gustavo praised her. Lucy talked about how the man in her head has been slowly, but surely fading out of her thoughts. Carlos talked about how much he wanted to bang Camille into next week. Gustavo ignored his little comments, and went to James. Jo just stared at Carlos with a hurt expression on her face. Once, Carlos caught her gaze, rolled his eyes, and turned away. Poor Jo looked like she was gonna cry. James didn't really talk much, except about everything in the world that pissed him off. His main one was about how nudists are frowned upon in America. Go figure.

I made it out of the session alive, but not before I was slammed against the wall near Kelly's office when no one was looking. Carlos was the culprit. He covered my mouth with his hand before I could scream for help.

"You know, your stuttering is REALLY fucking annoying…But, it's also kinda cute in that weird, geeky way."

I screamed into his hand, but of course it came out as a muffled sound.

"For some odd reason, I find you attractive Logan Mitchell. For you, that's not a very good thing. You see, remember when I said I wanted you to stay away from me? Well, I changed my mind. I'd love to get to know you better…" His sentence trailed off as his free hand slipped its way up my shirt.

"And it's not really your choice, so you might as well accept it. You're just gonna have to deal with it bitch. Because when I want something, I get it. No matter whom it hurts."

He removed his hands from me altogether and walked up the stairs. I took in a large gulp of air and attempted to get my breathing under control. My heart was beating rapidly.

What the hell just happened?

_**-Line Break-**_

I was still in shock from my encounter with Carlos when lunch time came, so I didn't eat much. James didn't sit with me. He still sent glares towards me every time we walked past each other. Like I said, he gets crazier and crazier.

I wanted to stay as far away as possible from both Carlos and James at the moment, so I decided to go with gardening for my activity. I grabbed a pair of gardening gloves and head out to the sun room.

It was absolutely breathtaking at first sight. There were fruits, vegetables, and flowers growing everywhere. There were tomatoes, cucumbers, pumpkins, you name it. Everything was a different color giving the garden a magical appearance. I spotted a blonde head of hair digging into the dirt near the pumpkins. I walked over and stood above him.

"Hi."

"AHHHHH!" The boy let out a loud shriek and stood up instantly. I slowly recognized him as Kendall. His hand was over his heart and he was breathing harshly.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you."

"No, uh…it's cool. Just, please never do that again." He got his breathing under control, eyeing me wearily, before he sat back down on his knees.

"Duly noted. So, you're the only on here into gardening?"

Kendall's eyes were moving rapidly back and forth and a sheen of sweat was breaking out onto his forehead.

"Dude…Are you ok?"

"Uhhhh…Y-y-yeah! I just um, get really nervous around people I don't know…" His eyes continued moving at a fast pace before he just shut them altogether. When he opened them again, his whole demeanor had changed. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes stopped moving, and he had a grin on his face.

"Pleasure to finally meet you Logan. I'm Kevin."

**Author's Note:** Look who's alive! Sorry for the wait! This chapter isn't in my favorites list, but hope you guys still enjoyed it! It was definitely a bit fast paced, so hopefully it didn't suck too badly. Thanks so much for all the support on the last chapters. In the reviews, don't forget to leave your constructive criticism and suggestions. I'll definitely read them. You guys rock! Oh, and I have a new story, Scarface, which is a Kogan, so go check that out if you want. Hopefully it won't take me a month to update this! Peace and Love. - Ashley


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